A love letter to the Pioneer Valley of Western Massachusetts.

Now that we have seen the campus, which is nice enough, we can go see more interesting things. You prospective undergrads, this is not a planned part of the tour, and I am not the official tour guide – he needed a siesta after too much brandy in the clean, well-lighted place last night, and I owed him a favor – but I do not want to go back to work just yet. So everyone who would like an education, mount your bicycle. Everyone else, the gift shop is in the campus center.

By this point in the afternoon we have likely had enough of it for one day, but there are yet good pleasures left, so let us begin with civilization.

Here is where you can buy a typewriter. A typewriter is a good way to learn how to think once you get past the kick of using one. Also, the man who runs the store will tell you some great stories that I will refrain from retelling now out of respect for the mothers.

Now we are on Route 116 just past the sunflower field. This is RJs Grub, a little southern barbecue stand that is superior to Bubs BBQ down the road. Try the pulled pork with Louisiana hot sauce.

Speaking of gastronomy we have here Cushman Market where on Sundays you can hear live jazz while you brunch. Brunch is the best thing to happen to weekends since the wine-skin and the worst thing to happen to work since the internet. The internet is worth a visit I suppose. But there is no jazz brunch there.

And here, the Moan & Dove Pub. If you can’t drink beer you can eat peanuts but obviously you want to do both. It’s a good place to go after you said what you had to say. And riding home together at night when you are a little cockeyed with no lights because the moon is full is when you will feel all is right even if it is not as you hoped. While were on the topic, they serve beer at Amherst Cinema too, along with some good films because they are not about my books. Those films are terrible.

So that is civilization. When you have more money you can explore it more. Meanwhile we have nature, which by now has civilization in it, so be forgiving. Because it does not matter that to you must take roads to the country as long as the country still has heart in it. Anyways we are only riding bicycles because I could not find horses for everyone.

This is Cemetery Road. You would not expect this old Hadley cemetery to be relaxing but it surprised me as well. Past the dead you come into the sudden expanse of strawberry field where migrant laborers will harvest the crop come summer. I wish you could see it at night, but for now notice how the sky pours out from the Conneticut River onto the horizon and goes all the way up.

Come here to Atkins Reservoir for swimming if you can find the hidden trail. Otherwise, here at Puffers Pond when no one is around and the clouds reflect in the water because they are colored by the sunset. Ducks mate for life. Try not to shoot them. And if the winter is good and cold, you can ice skate.

This is not a complete tour but I would like to finish quickly because Noam Chomsky is coming to lecture tonight and before he goes into the ring with his grand ideas I would like him to come into the ring with his fists and we will see which are stronger. So while we go to the last place I have in mind, take note of the dark green mountains covered with trees leafing out, and how that flock of birds there, just like the flock we saw outside the soccer stadium earlier, fly in and out of the trees together and continuous. If the sight of this does not move you somehow then you are out of luck.

Here we are at the final stop, the Bookmill of Montague. Of course the books and the little cafe are nice, but you have these at the library too. What matters is the river. Listen to it. Now see how it is white on the rocks and obsidian in the channels? And how the leaves that fall from the trees are swept away but the stones on the river bed are smooth and forever? Next year there will be new leaves and they will be swept away too but the stones will remain. All you mice look so lost, it seemed important to mention this about rivers and their stones. Yes, we have a question.

What is the point of all this?

Mouse, the point is if you pay attention to what is happening around you can understand a little bit what is happening inside you because you will know exactly what is producing the feelings you have. Then you will get rid some of the fear and worry we all have from the not-knowing and you will have a good time even in bad times because you are always getting better. You with the notebook, write that down.

But why did you take us here last? Were so tired, and we’re practically in New Hampshire.

I don’t know, but now that I think about it, you can learn a lot from rivers.

More than you can from going to college?

I don’t know. I didn’t go to college. College is fine if you are made for it. Learning from a river is harder because we all have to do it without preparation. You will want to meet her where she starts small in the mountains and follow her to where she empties herself big and completely into the sea. You will see how civilization happens at the end of her but not the start and this will make you feel one of two things. Then you might have to go through this more times with other rivers. After, if you have kept your nerve throughout, you will have removed all the fear and worry. And if you are very lucky, you will still have all of the river with which all the lessons you learned from the other rivers suddenly came together.

Do you recommend any particular river?

There are many great ones if you pay attention.

Give me an idea.

They are many so lovely, but if you are to go after just one river, then let her be strong, let her be beautiful, and let her be from Spain.

All this talk of rivers is making me thirsty.

Then let us have a drink.

So what about grad school?

Whatever the hell grad school is I can tell you it is not nearly as hard as knowing rivers and seas. To get that education takes longer than a day without bread.

Because all the rivers go into the sea then do you have to know the sea as well?

Yes, and to accomplish this takes a lifetime plus what they give you after that.

Sounds very dramatic.

And I have not even begun to tell you about bullfighting.

The stuff about rivers wears me out plenty.

Because it is important, and the importance makes coming to grips emotional and seem dramatic. But it is not dramatic. There is nothing dramatic about reality.

What else do you know about reality?

That I used to write it and sometimes invent it for a living.

I suppose there is no difference.

And I suppose, mouse, if you can’t bullfight and if you can’t love a river and let it smooth you over, you may as well go to college.

Why are you here in New England anyway? I thought you hated it.

Mouse, I don’t know why I came, but I stay for the view.

Cheers to that.

To the river.

Well, thanks for the drink. Should we go back to campus?

You go ahead. I believe I will stay here awhile longer.